I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
