It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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