Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
