My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize