a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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