If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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