How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
It's just like the Real World with babies
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
soo... how was my night?
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