is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
