There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
