Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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