I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
