it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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