Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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