im drinking this country out of the recession.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
