Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
