She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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