Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
