some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
