Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
