spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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