4 words: hood of his car
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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