hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Is Oprah even human
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
