I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
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I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.