I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.