Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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