She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?