nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
