this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
