The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
