Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I love having hate sex.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
