When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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