I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
