I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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