Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
