I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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