how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
