smell my finger.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
