omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
This is my gift to your gina
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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