I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
