I want to make a zoo with you.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize