I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
