I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
