I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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