Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
