I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
