Christians are straight up FREAKS
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
