we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
