Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
