Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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