she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just invented taco cereal.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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