I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
