I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I currently don't understand fingers.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
