Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
