she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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