hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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