I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
