this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
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You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
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Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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