the day after is always just damage control
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
