someone get that fucking seahorse.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
