I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
