I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
In America we eat man semen.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
