Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
