it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
