he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
