Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
i need some magic done to my vagina
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
