Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
