gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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