So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
