he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
