I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
