Swine flu is the new snow day.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
So apparently I’m into choking now
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