Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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