A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
